Life of Writing

Paper 3 draft

Lindsey Yong

Dr. Sarah Allen

Eng 319

20 November 2008

WC: 1,538

Memoir Assignment

            High school was the time where memories were shared and remembered, and life changing decisions were meant to be made. At the time, I was a junior in high school when the word “college” struck my mind as if I had never seen the word in my life. Important tests were quickly approaching, and the decisions of what colleges I wanted to go to or worse, what my parents wanted me to go through was just one of the many struggles I went through in my high school years. Going to a predominately white school was something that never struck me as weird or different. No matter how my day went, I never let the unbalanced race get to me and what I did as a person. My parents always wanted to see me and my siblings to succeed in everything we did as an individual, both academically and physically. I was pushed in every Science Fair, Club, and Music program that was offered at my high school. Once senior year came around I finally took a chance, pulled away from the pressures of my parents and enrolled in a Creative Writing class. I didn’t know what to expect, but the class has shaped me into the person I am today, the passionate, carefree writer that I am now.

            Walking through the halls of the school, there was nothing but school pride that covered every inch of every wall and students pushing their way to class in a 7 minute time period. Students came from every direction where tears were shed over an exam, or placements in sports or music classes. No matter what time of the year it was, high school was a big deal to each and every one of us, because we all wanted to be something in the end. I felt as though I was always on the move going from various classes and completing different homework assignments. I knew I had to do well in high school especially with my parents hovering down my back with everything that I did or was going to do in the school year. There wasn’t a day where I put passion into an assignment. I simply did the homework assignment with the mindset of receiving a good grade and that’s what got me through a majority of my high school career.

            But, I was tired of doing the same thing and almost becoming engulfed in the white society of my school of becoming the best. I wanted to really step into my culture and background of being a Korean-American and see my life in a different perspective. For once, I wanted to be able to slow down time mentally so I could enjoy what was around me rather than in front of me. One class registration for senior year rolled around I looked at my options as to what to take before I was graduating from the school. I still enrolled in my usual 4 AP classes, but what struck me the most was the Creative Writing class only offered to seniors. I knew that this was something that would displease my parents seeing as how it was not categorized as an advanced placement course, but I took it anyway, in hopes to figure out my passion for writing.

            Senior year came around and after the piles of homework received from all my other classes, I hoped that my Creative Writing class would let me unwind physically and mentally. There were the typical jocks who would be wooing every girl in the class, and then there were my friends from music class who enrolled for the easiness of the class. The teacher walks in and screams freewrite as it echoes in my ears. As she was explaining the idea of freewrite and suddenly, my hands went cold. After all the years of putting strong effort into my classes, I didn’t know how to write freely and carelessly. As I looked around the classroom, everyone was busy with letting themselves go and write like there was nothing else left. I tensed up and was only able to write down a full paragraph with logical reasoning and well thought out sentences. As students were presenting their pieces, I felt as though there was an expression of the mind that was used in their pieces, whereas mine expressed hesitance. One of our exercises was to go home and write, as though it was seen as a diary. I let out a huge sigh of relief, hoping to let some sort of spark of imagination or passion would be released into my writing.

            After completing the hours of homework, I finally realized that I had to complete the writing assignment for Creative Writing. I grabbed a pen, and I sat at my desk for hours trying to find something to write about. I looked over and saw my ipod sitting there, untouched for several weeks from the summer. As I press the button “shuffle”, “Back to You” by John Mayer came on:

Over you, I’m never over, over you. Something about you, it’s just the way you move, the way you move me, yeah, I’m so good at forgetting, I quit every game that I played. But forgive me love, I can’t turn and walk away this way.

 After looking over his lyrics and the way he was able to express the movements and feelings of life, I became inspired to write from the heart, where expression was key into Mayer’s music career. The way he is able to express himself to thousands of fans about the ups and downs of life, I find that I am a musician of my own writing. Aside from all the stress of parents and school, I was able to take the plunge and write, where I was finally myself for once. I would write endlessly after this moment, where instead of following my usual routine, I was able to pull away and write from my heart and hear my thoughts that were tortured for so long. When writing assignments came along in any class, I would let myself go in a state of mind where expressing my mind didn’t matter to me.

            Coming back to school, I found that things were slowing down for me. I was able to follow my own pace of the world, and as well as myself. I had a fire inside of me where I felt powerful being able to connect with myself on a personal level. I didn’t feel like a lost soul who listened to parents for guidance. After becoming inspired by music, I find myself glued to my ipod everyday and every moment. I came into Creative Writing with confidence, and finally chose my path to becoming an English teacher.

            Now that I am writing about longer topics that require critical thinking and personal input, I find myself still going through the same struggles of holding back on my writing, but it is moments such as my senior year Creative Writing class, where I am able to turn to a certain song of inspiration and write with passion and care. Even if I am writing in my journal or a letter to friends and family, I turn to a song, any song, and write as though I am a musician of my writing. My love of music is probably one of the biggest reasons as to why I am never stuck on a certain type of genre, because I find that anything inspires me to write the way I do. Now, music and writing have left me to be the person I am today. I am able to express my thoughts, emphasizing the emotions and pain that I go through as a person. I may have pushed away the opportunity to go towards science or math, but I find that the Creative Writing class has left me to be myself both in writing and in person.

            Going from the pressures of my parents during a majority of my high school career to the writer I am today, I find that taking the Creative Writing class and being inspired by music is one of the biggest things that have shaped me into the individual I am today. I am now able to write constantly without being sick to my stomach when given a writing assignment, and even just writing for personal sake. I have used my inspiration of music to write lyrics of my own about the things that I am going through. I haven’t forgotten the amount of motivation that I put forth in my school work and I have not lost the desire of playing music in any music classes, but after taking the Creative writing class, I am glad to be where I am standing today, being able to express my thoughts and feelings for me to connect to myself, and others to be compelled to read my feelings and emotions over certain events in my life.